Carla finally called me tonight after I had called her on Sunday. I haven\'t talked to her all week because she seemed really upset, and now I know why. Of course, there was the problem with her grandmother, but then this weekend I guess she met this great guy only to be confronted by his ex-girlfriend, who ruined everything. Then, Anastasia, her pet iguana, died. I felt really really bad because she loved Anastasia so much...it wasn\'t fair that she died. Then, today her dad got in a car accident and the car was all ruined. So, she has plenty of reasons to be miserable. So anyway, she told me that on Sunday night she went to the Roxy, and she took along Jefferson with her. She didn\'t end up seeing him the entire night until the club was letting out, and he was with some girl. He didn\'t want her to tell me about it, but she said that OF COURSE she would tell me because I\'m her friend and too nice to be treated badly by anyone. He claims that the girl is just his friend and that he didn\'t do anything, but I don\'t know if I believe that. It made me feel really sad...to know that someone did care about me, but now was it a lie all along? Out of sight, out of mind? Is that what it\'s all about? It is going to really bother me a lot. Supposedly he has also asked Carla about the prom as well as getting me something for Valentine\'s Day, but I don\'t know. It\'s really very aggravating now. This time, we\'re definetly going to go out because I\'ve got vacation and I can. But it makes me wonder if I want to get into this now and worry about it. Maybe, you know, it was just one of those things. Maybe he really wasn\'t doing anything and he is only friends with the girl, or he danced with her, or something. Still, this better be the case, or else he\'ll never see me again. Why am I so worried? I don\'t know. I guess it\'s just because I saw the possibility of something really great happening and then it sort of got tarnished. I feel so bad now. I can\'t tell any of my friends at school because they won\'t care. I just want to sigh, and cry a lot, and just let everything that is making me feel really bad out. I think it would help a lot, but I can\'t bring myself to do it. And tomorrow is Valentine\'s Day. I\'m going to be thinking about this ALL DAY LONG. ARGH.
I went to church today for Ash Wednesday. It seemed really weird to go to church on a Wednesday. I don\'t know. So today is the start of Lent. For Lent I plan on giving up swearing. I have gotten a really dirty mouth in the past year, so I\'ve got to try my hardest to curb it. It is starting to get out of control.
I don\'t know what I\'m going to do...Jefferson, desculpa. Sou estupida...