i just thought that you would know
2000-10-12 @ 9:28 p.m.

Bad bad day. I cannot shake this horrible badness that has been engulfing me for quite some time now. (Well, two days now, but it seems like an eternity.) It is really annoying. If I thought yesterday was antagonizing, today was even worse. I can't take it anymore. I think I am going insane. No, I know I am not going insane. If anything, I am making myself go insane. Even music can't make me happy today. It's just really depressing to listen to, even peppy happy songs. :(

I feel like someone who tried to get everything that looked good, and then nothing ended up working out her way anyway. The weather is screwing me up too. One day it's freezing, next day it's in the seventies...I can't take this craziness! Argh, I have been trying to do sit ups every night to make myself stronger, but I did them two nights in a row and then forgot about them. Well, I am going to keep on my regimen this time and work on them tongiht. I will hash out all of my anguish and frustration in physical torment that is not detrimental to my health. Sounds like the best way to cure youself of something bad, right?

Tomorrow after school I can actually come home! Wow, I came home today, but only because I had a doctor's appointment at 3:30. Tomorrow, I can leisurely take my time home, and then sit at home and do nothing for a while. That still doesn't make me happy, though. It doesn't make me feel anything. I deserve it, so it only makes me mad that I had to stay at school all of the other days this week.

I look like a wreck. Today I looked awful, all disheveled and stuff. I didn't really care what I looked like, but now I do. My eyes are all bloodshot, and I don't know why. I have a rash of little pimples all on my chin. This is disgusting. It is all an effect of stress, I tell you. I am so glad I didn't have any pictures or anything taken of me today. I'll recover by tomorrow, hopefully. The only thing that looked good today was my hair. It was nice and curly in a ponytail, and very pretty. I hate feeling this craptacular. I need the weekend to recoup and put my pieces back together.

Time to go read my Pre Cal book so I know what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Ciao...buona notte...

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