There is something that really creeps me out. Today, I was in Calligraphy, (the class with all the action), and the girl who sits across from me gave me a note. Now, I will be the first one to say that notes are nice. Yes, notes are good. So I took it and read it. Inside was just a few sentences, but it said: "...I just want to thank you for being my friend, and it's nice to make good friends. It's cool to be friends and I just want to know what is your favorite music? My favorite is Backstreet Boys." Okay, I don't even talk to this girl, much less ever give any hints of friendship. Now don't get me wrong, I am not being mean. You would find it strange if some random person gave you a note telling you that they were glad you were friends. It was written in really bad grammar and punctuation. At the end, it said that I could write back whenever I wanted. I really don't want to. Frankly, I find the whole situation quite creepy. Please don't think badly of me for this, but geez, it is one of the weirdest things that have happened to me. That class is getting hazardous to my health. At first I thought it was a really nice gesture, but I mean, c'mon. You have to admit that it's just really weird. I don't know what to do. I don't want to write her anything back, but I would feel really mean if I didn't.
Let's see...some other interesting junk happened in that class. The guy who said that I was 'beautiful' went to sharpen his pencil and broke the handle off of the sharpener. Then the sharpen holder fell off and went all over my bag. That class sucks. Only ten more weeks to go until the semester changes. Please, please go by quickly. I know they tell you not to wish your life away, but this is truly one moment that I wish would go by fast. I better not get ANY flowers for Thanksgiving from anyone that I don't know. Or I will absolutely flip out. This whole class and the people in it are freaking me out. It's too confined. We need a bigger room. We need separate desks. AHHHH!
Tomorrow are the PSATs. Did I do anything to prepare? No! I promised myself last year I would do something to prepare, but I already feel as if I am prepared. I know that they are important, but I am ready to take them. Last year was just messed up. I am not going there with anyone, because no one asked me to come along with them. So, I'll just show up by myself and meet some friends, I guess. Mindy told me that she wanted me to stand out on the sidewalk in front so that she could find me when I got there. At least she still cares about me. Jackie didn't go to school today, and she just forgets about me anyway. I am going to get sick of hanging around with my friends if they are always going to be with their boyfriends. I haven't even formally met Jackie's Matt, but I have met Kristen's Johnny, and even have class with him. He knows I am really good friends with Kathleen. He never says hi or anything. So, my friend's boyfriends don't like me. Then today Min left me, so I went to find Guillermo after school. He was outside, waiting for guess who...? Becca. So everywhere I go I am surrounded by these couples, and it just is not very fun.
I just want to go out somewhere, I don't care where. I want to go to a party, do something. I want to dance, I just want to forget everything that is going on around me. I am so sick of everything! *grr* My life is really cool, but something is always bugging me. I can't wait until I go to New York. It will be a chance to do something out of the ordinary, get away from everyone, and just do what I want. I won't care what I look like when I get out of bed. I can just act crazy and whatever. No listeing to anyone, or their opinions, or their judgements, or anything. Of course, my parents will be there, but when it comes to most things, they'll let me do whatever I want. I don't even know what I am talking about. I guess I am just kind of babbling over my frustrations with my friends.
I should really call Erin. She just came back to school on Thursday from having knee surgery, I believe. I have to call Kerri too. I did call her, but she wasn't home. I havne't talked to her in about a week. With us, that's a real record. I want to get together with Jessie too. She's been so busy with school and junk, so I never see her. At least I'm seeing Angela this weekend for her party. Oh, I know what I wanted to do...make a list of all of my closest friends and their boyfriends, so we can see just how hopeless this situation is.
1. Jackie goes out with Matt
2. Kristen goes out with Johnny
3. Jessie goes out with Skye
4. Erin goes out with Thompson..*gag*
5. Guillermo goes out with Becca
Those are my closest friends, and they have all abandoned me. I don't think that's fair. Most of these things won't last but a few months. The thing I don't get is that even if the relationship gets really old after a while, and both people don't really feel too special about it anymore, they'll still hang on, just for the time factor. They don't want to lose their relationship, even if it is unfullfilling. That is one think that really irks me. I'm telling you though, we'll see just how long these last.
I have to do some shopping. I have not been shopping for quite a while now. It is actually something that makes me happy. I haven't really hung out with my friends either. Friends are supposed to make you happy. Mine just make me feel uncomfortable and miserable now.
But enough of this babbling and unhappy stuff! Let's think of something happy! Umm...well...let's see...I just found a really good page that is going to teach me the fundamentals of CSS! Yeah, that is always good. I actually had new batteries to put in my discman. That's good too. This is hard...I ate some M&Ms today...no, that's bad. Ahhh...I just went out on my porch to watch the sun. It's already almost set, but there's some really pretty colors up there. It's all nice and orangy. There, those are some happy things. I can deal with happy things. <3