your faith in me brings me to tears
2000-10-27 @ 9:57

I am so tired right now I could pass out. I have been going all day on the least amount of energy that I could possibly expend, and now I am just going into Friday night crash mode. I know it is not healthy, but I can't help it. I get so overworked during the week that I just sleep really late on Friday and Saturday nights, even though it doesn't make up for it. Today was wasted in a sea of daydreams during school. I was thinking about a lot of useful things. I mean, everything in the world is subjective to me now. Even if you hold up a a glass and say, "This is a glass.", how can you be sure? Well, of course it is a glass by how you see it and interpret it, but why is it called a glass in the first place. You can keep breaking down glass until you get lots of tiny atoms and stuff. And you can say it's a glass, but do you really know if it's a glass. This doesn't make sense when you put it down in words, but hey, I know what I mean. And that's all that matters. Even though it is confusing.

Kathleen told me a story yesterday about Jessie and Paul. Paul is a boy in our class who goes out with Kathleen's best friend, Jessie. It was really sweet. Jessie wanted this cd, and Paul wanted to get it for her. He called three different record stores to find one that had it. Then he waited until he had time one day after to school to go and pick it up. He called them up that day and asked them to hold the cd so that when he got there they would still have it. Then he rode his bike all the way down to the place to get it, and gave it to her the next day during lunch. That is one very sweet and nice gesture. It would be so nice if someone went to all of that trouble for me. Well, it would probably not be worth it, eh? Paul is very nice though. He used to be my buddy in C Programming class last year. I just thought it was a nice little gesture to show that yes, there are people who think of other's happiness in the world, and not just their own.

*singing* I would take the stars out of the sky for you, there's nothing in this world that I wouldn't do...If I could be your girl...*lalala* I don't know why I have that song stuck in my head. I probably heard it on the radio today sometime. I don't want to wake up tomorrow to go to homecoming. *groan* I want to sleep as late as I want. But alas, this is not what I can have. I have to get up and go to stupid homecoming, where the team is going to lose anyway!

Ah! I have another Calligraphy class story. Today the Portuguese nation was talking to each other again, and the boy that has the crush on me was asking the girl who sat next to me to ask me some sort of question. I could tell that they wanted to ask me a question, becasue the words are similar in Spanish, but I didn't get the specific question. So, the girl asks me, "He wants to know (meaning my little admirer...*cough*) if you think that he is handsome." I mean, the kid is cute and all, but what am I going to say here to not hurt any feelings. I don't like this kid at all, and it's kind of hard to get to know someone when they don't speak your language. I'm not in the market for a boyfriend right now. Well, maybe I am, but still...I don't really care for him. So then I started to blush b/c I was embarassed, and the girl who sits next to me pointed that out. She tried to make me feel better by telling me that she told him that I already had a boyfriend. Then she whispered to me, "I think that he is gay." We both started to crack up, and I don't even know why I was laughing, but anything to get off of the subject of this kid having a crush on me was fine with me. Thank goodness I had someone to talk about this that acutally cared. When I tell all of my friends they just brush me off.

Time for bed. Estoy cansada...*hehe*

Ciao.

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