Amanda,
Hello. This is just gonna be a quick note- I'm sorry. I just have a question- Tell me the truth, k? Do you like Michael? I wanna know. Ok? Thanx man. *lol* Right now I'm in period 1, Physics. He's babbling on about stars & planets & stuff. Boring. OK Well I G²G. Bye.
<3 Jax
Ummhmm. Okay. Yeah, sure. I don't know what the heck brought this on, and I never even told her that I liked him or anything. I really don't though, either. When we met up at Student Council, we were working on a sign for the rally together, and she was just asking me about the note. I couldn't give her a straight answer, off the bat, and she wanted to know why I couldn't. I wanted to know why she asked me in the first place, but she wouldn't tell me until I answered her. The truth is, I don't really like him in the sense that I would ever want to be boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. I could, really I could, but I would want to be friends first. We aren't really super good friends in the first place, just plain old friends, of a sort. Jackie wanted to ask him to the prom, and now she won't do it because she thinks that I like him in that sort of way. I wouldn't have even asked him, if I had the chance. She can go ahead and do it if she wants, and it wouldn't bother me at all. The sheer fact that she actually cared about what I felt was flattering, but still, it doesn't bother me that much. I don't feel like I am left out of anything. Even so, he is going to ask another girl to go with him, like I said before, and Jackie told me who it is. It is Tiana in my homeroom. Why not? I would say that she is one of the most beautiful girls that I have ever seen in my life. And unlike the other girls, even though she knows she's pretty, she's not a bitch. Really, she should be a model. Still, I know that she is not going to go with him, because her parents didn't let her go to the semi, because they are very strict in their religion. I doubt that they would let her go at all. Still, he can try, but then after that, how would you like to go with someone, knowing that you are their second choice? It is not a very nice thing to think about. You can't make someone percieve you as they percieve someone else, because you just can't. There are just some things that you can't do.
And it makes me mad, that I criticize things in other people that I do myself. I am nothing but a big hypocrite. Yes, life could be a million times worse, but you know what? So could everyone else's life. I don't want people to think that this one little event is the source of all of my problems, because it's not. I could have it solved and still be miserable. It is just the thing, today you see, that has put me over the top. I am going to break down. I don't know what is keeping my sanity. It is totally beyond me. What the hell is this life about anyway? Will somebody please tell me?