spin me 'round and 'round
2001-02-16 @ 9:42 p.m.
Tired, tired, tired...*yawn* My tulips are still sitting nicely in their kool-aid pitcher on my dresser. School totally sucked today, and Kathleen and I were supposed to work on our science fair project tonight, but I think she forgot, because she told me earlier in the day that she was going to go out bowling tonight with Keith, Joe, Chris, and all of those other computer C++ programming people. I didn't say anything, because if she wanted to go out so badly, she would be mad that I would have to remind her that we were going to work on the project. She would then regrettfully stay home and work on the project, being pissed off at me the whole time. It's just as well, because I don't really feel like doing any work either. If I get a chance tonight, I might work on my practice papers for the national Spanish exam, but that's it. I've done enough for today as far as I'm concerned. There's only so much that you can get done in a day.
I have a lot that I should do this weekend, and I hope to get it all done. I'm sure that I just might, because I am feeling rather ambitious. I better hurry and do stuff now, or else it may wear off. I also have to work on my website and try and fix my guestbook. Eek. I don't really know what I'm doing with that. I'm so lost with the evolution of all of this computer language and stuff, but I guess I'm just going to have to keep up or drop out of the race. It still seems like competition to me though, which is the thing that I hate the most.
I wonder why it's so hard for me to be happy. I really can't think of a day when I have been truly happy. Maybe I don't understand what happiness is, really. My hapiness springs from superficial things most of the time. It is rare when that hapiness is the product of something that is not superficial. Sometimes I think I'm on the brink of figuring something out, only to realize that I didn't really know what I wanted or meant after all.
Ciao.
Before | After
