Tomorrow Kathleen is coming over so that we can work on our project. I am pissed off because we don't have anything good to eat in the house, so I'm going to feel stupid when I try to offer her lunch, only to find that there's nothing to eat. My stupid bastard father could have gone to the supermarket tonight, but he wouldn't go. At least the house looks all nice and neat. I normally don't care, but I don't like my friends thinking that I'm sloppy. I will have to feverishly throw all of my junk under my bed tomorrow morning. Actually, my room's pretty clean. I was mad at Kathleen yesterday because she had promised that she's call me that weekend to get a schedule for the project set up, and she hadn't yet. I had to call her and ask about it. She didn't really want to talk to me because her boyfriend was over, so she stuck me on the phone with him for a few minutes. I called numerous people yesterday, all of which were too busy to talk. I wrote a really angsty and depressing entry for yesterday, but I'm just going to chuck it and start over again. I can't keep tying myself up in angry emotions. Life's just too short, you know? I know it's really cliche and something that everyone says, but it's true.
I have to go to sleep soon, because I have to get up really early tomorrow to start on my project. I don't really want to, but the sooner I wake up, the sooner it will be finished. One side of me right now feels very safe, and the other side feels vulnerable and exposed. Life is still very confusing for me, and I wonder when it won't be. I'm trapped in between figuring out what I'll become and what I should become. Don't ask me how I just turned the thoughts to that. I think I'll go do some reading, then sleep.