Tell Me You Love Me

sombody hit the lights
2001-07-10 @ 9:55 p.m.

I can't really say anything special about today. This is for the mere fact that nothing special really happened. I spent the morning at home, and then I went to babysit during the afternoon. I did a lot of cleaning and such. Gus was pretty good today, considering that he slept for most of the time that I was there. I got to finish that awful book that I'm reading for school, and I was perplexed upon finishing it, as it made no sense. The ending was very vague and left me wondering what the entire book was about. After I had finished the book and written a few things in my date book, Gus woke up, and we played for a while. Then he was getting cranky, so it's a good thing that it was time for dinner. His mom had to run out to the store while I was feeding him, but we had a grand old time. He made an utter mess out of himself, but I cleaned him up before he's mom got home. He also has this obsession with Cheerios. Well, they're not really Cheerios, but some sort of organic form of the aforementioned cereal. We musn't forget that we're dealing with an organic family here. He spotted the O's on the table and wanted to eat them. He is such a bratty child when he wants something. I don't give into him though. I have seen too many people spoiled in that way. It's so cute, because he's learning to mimic people, and although he can't talk, he tries to make the same sounds that he hears from other people. He does say the word "baby" occasionally, although he doesn't know what it means. I figure that although babysitting is not a particularly profitable business, I can at least get some really good parenting experience in. It also make me think sometimes that I never want children. *hehe*

I have come to the conclusion that I only dream about bad things that are bothering with me in some way. I don't deal outwardly with my problems, so they come to haunt me in my dreams. I never say anything to others and almost always keep how I feel to myself. Maybe it is unhealthy, since now I have observed the trend of these bad thoughts and worries ambushing me in dreams. It gets a lot worse right before school starts. I always dread that day after a summer of being away from the hellish grasp of school. Still, I hate having strange surreal dreams every night. I wouldn't mind it if once in a while they were happy dreams, or funny, or even weird dreams, but they always seem to have some sort of problematic element to them.

I just updated my playlist with all of my mp3s. Now it's all nice and tidy, with all of the songs in order. Some of the names were spelled wrong by the people that I downloaded them from, which was quite annoying. Some people don't know how to use capital letters either. This proved to be annoying in trying to go and change all of the titles and artist names to the proper format. Still, now it looks nice. That is so incredibly sad though, now that I think about it. I wasted all of that time doing something that doesn't make a world of difference. At least it kept me amused for a while. Don't laugh at me!

I am extremely anxious about getting a job. I thought that I wanted to work at Wild Oats. I have the application all filled out and such, but now I'm not so sure if I want to go and drop it off. I need to get a job though, because the summer is running its course. I'm running out of time. I could also get a job as an usher at the Fleet Center, or I guess I still have the option of working at Thompson Financial in Boston. I don't know if I want to trek all the way there every day though. Plus, I don't know how many hours they're looking for. I hate taking interviews as well. That's the worst part of it. I hate talking to people and realize that they're scrutinizing me and determining their worth. Maybe I can get Jessie to go and get a job somewhere with me. I know it just doesn't work to take along a friend and get an interview at the same time. That's fine though. I think it would just be good to have someone that I know at the same workplace, you know? It's easier to make new friends that way, at least for me. I should go work at Pac Sun, where Jessie wants to work. She wants to work at the one in Harvard Square, and my friend Derrick already works there. That would be cool. I don't know if I'm Pac Sun material, though. Well, we still have a little bit of time to get a job.

Ciao.

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