What I did was go through all of my old letters. I save every letter I get, yes, each and every one. But I realized that some of these letters were left over from fourth grade, even before, which was a good seven or more years ago. So I chucked them. I'm not normally one to do that, but some of these were random letters from pen pals that I had in elementary school. I no longer keep in touch with any of them. But that's not my fault. I was always the one to write the last letter, waiting for a reply. It's just that sometimes I never got it. Let me count the number of pen pals I've had that have just drastically stopped writting.
To start off, there was the girl from Conneticut who was my penpal in the fourth grade. Once school got out, she never wrote to me anymore. Or there was always the girl from the hotel in Cape Cod, whose name was also Amanda. She just stopped writing all of the sudden. Or maybe in fifth grade there was the Leeann girl with the funny last name. Or Diana, my best friend from third grade who promised that she would write to me forever. Or more recently, a few years ago, Connie, who doesn't write to me anymore, after she invited me to her sweet sixteen party. Well, I have finally thrown all of these people out of my life for good. Their stupid letters have been sitting under my bed and in my closet in my special boxes, taking up space. I am finally rid of these people. I don't know why, but it just makes me feel better somehow. Less burdened.
Then there was always the mistake that I made. Writing to that kid, that kid who was about seven years older than me. I only got two letters from him. That is the one person who I never wrote back to, because it was just plain scary. Jesus, I am so glad my mother never found out about that one, or should would have had my throat for sure. Today I finally shredded the letters, the pictures, the cards. Gone for good, gone forever.
But my penpal experience has not always been so bad. In fact, I am greatful now for all of the wonderful people I am corresponding with. My good penpal, Laura from England, well, I have been writing to her for four years now. And I am so glad that I always have Yumi, one of my dear friends from the internet to write to. It makes me so incredibly happy just to know that I am her friend. I just realized from leafing through her letters tonight that we have been writing for two years. Kanae from Japan also writes really nice letters, and she even sent me a cassette tape of Hikaru Utada songs. Jessie, even though I can walk to her house in less than five minutes, still sends me letters, as we rarely see each other. The letters that I got from Dave in Canada were the best, but sadly I think he is too busy to write to me now. Still, I am so lucky to have met all of these people, and I guess that's why I'm happy to be a pen pal and all. It's really a very cool thing. I would love to have friends all over the world. It makes me feel more connected. And I should hope that my friendship is at least a small gift that I can give to them.
Well, I think that's all that I have to say for tonight. It's enough, isn't it? I feel better writing about these things. It makes me think about myself for a change. I wish someone was online tonight, but I guess it's too late for everyone to be up. Sleepy heads!
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