*takes out a medicine spoon and a bottle*
I am so bummed out now. There's no one online to talk to. I have been surfing around at sights, and then I just get depressed because my site sucks, and it has no content because I can't work on it. I see all of these cute webrings that I want to join, and when I look at the requirements, they all have lots of stuff that I don't have. And people's sites are just generally better. I think there are twelve year olds out there who have sites that are better than mine. It is so maddening, you know?
Well, I actually joined one of the rings, which I bet I won't get into. It's called Lucky, and its name comes from the Britney Spears song. Now, I am not a big fan of hers, but her songs are okay, and I like that one. It's basically a ring for people who are thought to be "lucky", but like the girl in the song, their life is not all roses. That's how I feel a lot of the times. People think I am so smart and such a good student, and have so many friends, etc., but there is still this big empty spot where something should be. I don't know what it is. Also, there is always someone who is going to be better than me. I can no longer be the best at everything, like I used to be in elementary school, three or so years ago. So, maybe I am lucky, but only in certain ways. So there.
Last night I had my third dream involving Hanson. Talk about surreal. I have hated them since they first made the scene with that awful MmmBop song. My gawd. My sister used to love them so much, and I hated them just because she liked them. Now I find them somewhat facinating and tolerable. But why have they been showing up in dreams? That is just plain scary. I never have dreams involving celebrities at all. In all of my dreams I was always doing normal stuff, such as shopping, or hanging out at my house. WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN? I swear, if I have another strange dream like that I will go crazy. Well, I hate talking about dreams anyways, as I feel that they are some sort of subconcious message to me, helping me to figure out just what I am all about. It's always hard to explain them too. I mean, the colors, atmosphere, and sounds play a big deal in it all. Dreams are usually very emotional for me as well. And I just can't explain it at all sometimes. So it's better left in my head.
Well, I have been reading one of my six stupid books for school, entitled Bless Me, Ultima. It is an okay book, but kind of slow and boring. It's about this Mexican family, and a curandera, a person who heals with herbs and magic, that is. One of the sons in the family is deeply connected to this lady, Ultima, and has so far helped to cure his uncle from illness. I mean, it's not that bad, but with all the writing that I have to do along with it, it just sucks. I am constantly stopping to write down stuff and jot notes. I can't even enjoy a book. Well, it is kind of one of those books that you would not want to read again anyways.
I want people to read this, and I want to put a link to it from my ICQ info, but I am afraid of some of my past entries. Some of them contain "classified" information about ::top secret:: stuff. Well, not really, just stuff I would rather that people didn't read in order to save feelings. Maybe I will write a disclaimer. *hehe* Well, that's enough writing for now, I'm o-u-t!