always a hope for the future
2000-07-27 @ 10:46 p.m.
Hmm. I did a lot of shopping today. Yet, I was not the one who got many things. My sister is driving me out of my mind. She doesn't want to get any of the clothes she is supposed to for her uniform. Well, just wait until school when she has nothing to wear. Then she will be sorry. I am sick of complaining. She has awful taste and doesn't like anything besides black or baby blue shirts. Plus, she likes to dress like a skank. She is so aggravating. Today I got a plaid skirt because I liked it. I need to find a top to go with it, though. I was thinking of a black tank top with rhinestones or something. I don't usually look to good in black against my pale skin, but it shouldn't be that bad. I also got a blue headband, and a pair of socks that I wanted. I never really buy a lot of things at a time. I just kind of pick them up as I see them. Mom said that she'd get me the sweater that I wanted from the Roxy store on Newbury street. She said she would buy me a new coat for the winter as well. There is this really nice peacoat from Abercrombie and Fitch that I wanted, but it's expensive. Mom said she would consider it, even though I know she absolutely hates that store and loathes it with a passion. I don't really like it that much either; I find their clothes to be bland and everyone knows that all of them are overpriced by at least twenty bucks. But, it was just one thing I liked. This year at school I am going to wear what I want, instead of always trying to fit in. Well, I never really tried, I just kind of did. So I am going to go with something a little bit different this year.
I spent most of my day with Jessie. Tomorrow is her string camp concert, so I hope she does well. I know a few people from my school are in string camp. Jessie is really good at everything she does. She even actually practices her viola. If I played a musical instrument, I would probably forget to practice. I think I will miss Jessie not being up at SHS next year. I mean, she is headed off to B.U. Academy, and I will kind of miss not having her around. But I know she will do well in high school, and make a lot of new friends. That is one thing that she is good at that I am not. She is not really outgoing, but she can still make friends easily. That is something I was never good at. I really suck when it comes to making friends, actually. Lots of people think that I am a snob because I won't talk to them or stuff like that, when I am actually too shy to.
I wonder why. I mean, why can't I make friends easily? It's like pulling teeth with me some times to just have a conversation. My semi date must have felt awful, as I barely talked to him at all. I feel sorry that I was such a non-talker. Maybe if I have talked more, he wouldn't have gone off with that other girl at the end of the night. *grrr* NO, that was not my fault. But still, if I think about it, I am not even that much of a great talker with the friends I have. I probably suck as a conversationalist in the real world, with other intellectual people. What good is it if you are smart but have no social skills. I probably have some sort of social-anxiety disorder. I don't know. I don't think I will ever "come out of my shell", as they say.
Ciao, and buona notte.
Before | After
