I was going through my closet today and came upon my semi dress. It's been two months since that night of hell. I had a good time then, but when I think upon it now, I had the worst time. Sure, I looked pretty, people said I looked so pretty, but I felt so empty. I don't know why, maybe it was the fact that I didn't have a date until the day before, and I barely knew the guy, and didn't really care for him, although he was cute. I don't know if I ever wrote the story of my awful semi in my diary. I think I will.
Okay, so at my school we have a dance for the sophomore class, called a semi formal. Girls get to wear a short dress, and guys get to wear a suit. It's like a step down from the prom. Well, in case you didn't guess, I wanted to go with Chris. Sucks to be me, because of course he has Carolyn to go with. So anyway, I talk to Jackie. She's going with Derrick, from Matignon. This is back in, oh, say, January. Derrick has a friend. This friend is willing to take me to the semi. Is he cute? Oh sure, he is. Great. Tell him I'll go. So it's settled. I wanted to meet the kid and become friends before we went so it wouldn't be awkward. Okay, cool, it can be done. February vacation rolls around, Warren is always busy. Say, Jackie, do you know where this kid lives? No. Okay, cool. In March, Jackie and I had a half day. We went to Harvard Square for a while, and then had to come home so we could be at Matignon when school got it. It's freezing cold, and kids are throwing snowballs at us. Is Warren there? No. He and Derrick got in a fight, and he didn't show up to meet me. Shit head. So, now it's April. Amanda is getting worried. April vacation rolls around. No plans are ever made with Warren. Jackie and I go out for pizza with Derrick. Lots of crap goes on with Kerri talking to Warren, as they both go to Matignon. Kerri yells at Warren for not making plans with me. I want Kerri to mind her own business, even though her intentions are good.
So, now we are into May. Amanda walks the Walk for Hunger with Jackie and Derrick. Amanda talks to Warren on Derrick's cell phone. Amanda is a nervous wreck, but feels better knowing that Warren is a real person. Okay, maybe things will work out after all. Nice. June rolls around, and the whole sophomore class of SHS is all buzzing about the semi. Last minute plans to get dresses, shoes and makeup are being made. Where are you getting your nails done? Can you help me with my makeup. Meanwhile I am juggling dancing practices, getting ready for final exams, and trying to keep my grades up in math. Still, no sign of Warren.
It is now June fifth. Semi is June ninth.
I am over Jackie's house. We're studying, and watching TRL. Derrick is online. Tells Jackie he has something important to say. Won't tell Jackie. Tell me Derrick, what is it. It's not about you. Jackie has a bad feeling about this. I do too. Jackie calls Derrick. Derrick doesn't answer. He finally calls back. Won't tell Jackie anything. Jackie hands me the phone. What's up Derrick?
Nothing much, how're you Amanda?
Good...(pause) What's wrong Derrick, you sound sad.
Nothing, so, ah, what are you up to?
Homework, studying, stuff...just being bored.
Okay, yeah, cool, cool.
Well, if you don't have anything to say, I'll give the phone to Jackie.
So I give the phone back to Jackie. They talk for a while. Then she hands the phone back to me. I'm shaking, and my eyes are staring to water up. I don't want to cry in front of Jackie, so I kind of turn away. I know what's coming up. Hi again Derrick.
Hi. Umm...well, I don't want to tell you this, really.
I think I know what you're going to say, but go ahead.
Yeah, well ah, Warren can't make it to the semi.
WHAT? Why not?!
Well I called him and asked him what he was doing Friday night. He said we could hang out. I was like, yeah..we could go to the movies, out, or to the SEMI..Ah hem.
I don't get why he would do this. We had plans since January! I hate him!
Well, he has to go to his younger brother's graduation from eigth grade.
That is the gayest thing I have ever heard.
I know, I am so pissed at him now, I was going to kill him when he told me. I am so so so so so so sorry. I'll try to get you another date. I'm already working on it. Hey, are you crying?
No..*sniff sniff* I'm okay.
At this point, I hand the phone to Jackie. She's like, we're going up to your house. So, sobbing and cold and looking like a rag, we trudged up to Derrick's house. There were little wrestling figure guys trashed all over the floor. I laughed. Uh yeah, just taking out my anger. There were many attempts to console me. You can pick out any cd you want to listen to. Umm..want to watch Austin Powers on my DVD player? Here, take Mr. Dogg (a stuffed animal). He'll make you feel better. I swear, boys really suck when they try to make someone feel better. But they try, they try, and I will give Derrick that. I knew he felt like crap about it. I was just sobbing, and Jackie felt bad, as if it were her fault, and I was just sad. I couldn't stand to tell my mom and dad, because I knew that they would be upset.
The next day, I was a total bitch at school. I couldn't pay attention in school, and even though people tried to be nice to me, I couldn't take it. I was monsterous. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep. I barely slept that night. My aunt called my cousin Chris up, and asked him to find me a friend to go with. He had one friend that would take me, Buddy, and I thought it was cool because I met him before at least. But he had a hockey tournament that weekend. I didn't want to take another friend. Hai told me about a boy in school that wanted to go, a junior, who was willing to take me. I debated over what I should do for the next two days. I could have a a friend, someone I didn't know, I didn't know anybody. I don't have any guy friends. So, I told Hai to give the kid my number and see what happened. Settled, for this time.
Yeah, so this kid called me up, and asked me what I was wearing, so that he could match. He offered to get my flowers, and pay for my pictures. I was happy about that, and he sounded really sweet. When I met him the next day, he was cute. Okay, cool. We got in the party van with the eighteen other people. He didn't even sit with me. His friend, who was going with my friend Kristen, told him to come and sit with me. We didn't talk the whole way there. Okaaaaay. So, we get there, and we're in line for pictures. He strikes up a conversation with some girl he knows and ignores me. After pictures he goes out and has a cigarette. Gross. For dancing, I don't see him around. He didn't sit down and eat dinner with us at our table either. First slow dance, he's there. Come dance, he says, and moves his head toward the dance floor. I think he's shy, but not with people he knows. Next few dances, he's not around. Fine, you stupid bastard. Just leave me alone. I'll sit at the table and waste my time. Fast music comes on, I'm out there dancing. Boom boom boom, no one can stop me now. My detachable straps on the dress keep falling off. Damn. I take them off and put them in my purse. Jackie is sick of fixing them every time they fall down. Off they go. Back to the dancing. His friend comes over. Are you having a good time? I'm sorry about Jason, he's really nervous. Really...I couldn't tell, by all the cigarettes. Next few slow dances, he's there. Emily comes by, and her pupils are as dilated as can be. Someone's on E tonight. You look pretty! Kathleen's date says, is that you, the girl frow C Programming? You look so different, I didn't even recognise you! Take that with a grain of salt. He was probably high anyway. Dancing, dancing away. Flying high, night's almost over. What? Almost over? Last dance comes, where's Jason? Nowhere to be seen. Probably dancing with some other girl. Oh, there he is, dancing with that girl with the pink dress. I go and sit down. Everyone is so happy, dancing the last dance. Not me. Derrick talked to me more the whole night than anyone else. He was nice to me, I wish he was my date. I bet he wished he was mine too. We all load down into the party van again. Down to Revere beach. Jason avoids me. Apologises for being such a bad date. We take a picture, he has his arm around me. He moves after about a minutes. Goes to sit with Nicole Dion, someone else's date in the van. She is practically sitting on his lab, scratching his neck. What a slut. Not like I could say anything, he's not my boyfriend. My friends notice the glaring look in my eye. Most of them are too busy in their own affairs, though. Kristen's date invites me to an after party. I'm not going alone. Kris, you going? I have no way of getting home. He says he'll get us a cab to get us there and back. I want to go, I don't want to lose my date. I see Chris and Carolyn getting cozy in the back. How I hate her. I'm not going, my parents would kill me. Okay Kris, fine, there's probably going to be drugs and drinking anyway. I'm not up for that. Okay, cool. So they finally reach their destination. Jason gets off. He's sorry for being such a bad date. I am too. He grabs my hand, quick kiss, and he's off.
I drive home with Jackie, Jens, Kristen and Derrick. I don't care anymore. The radio's blasting, and I'm singing, being sad and feeling sorry for myself. I tell Derrick to shut up because he's giving me a headache. He's surprised I would say that to him. Well, be not surprised. He though I was mad at him a few weeks later for that still, but I cleared it up. I finally get dropped off at home. I stumble up the stairs, throw my dress on the floor, and hide my corsage so I never have to look at it again. Stick my shoes back in their box. I don't care, I want to forget it.
That was one of the worst nights of my life.
When people asked about it, I played it up. Yeah, it was awesome, I had a great time. But in all actuallity, it sucked. I hated it, and my life was a living hell from January until June when I thought about it. This year, if I don't have a date, I'm going ALONE. I don't even care, it's not that big of a deal. I don't need anyone to dance with, because I am way too cool for that. I will just find someone who doesn't have anyone to dance with. Yeah, unless someone asks me to go specifically. And I'm not taking my chances on someone else getting me a date anyway. Unless I'm sure that it will work.
So that is my story. I got stood up by a guy I didn't even know. I had a horrible night dealing with my date as well, and had to watch a slut make moves on him. I finally got my formal pictures back a few weeks ago. I'm supposed to give him half. I have his number, his e-mail address, and I go to school with him. I'll give his pictures if I see him. Obviously he doesn't care about me. I hope I never run into him.
Take any kind of lesson you can get out of this, please. I think I am the only one sometimes, who has to deal with fiascos like this. I feel better now. Maybe I can forget that night forever now. Damn, I wish I had never tried on that dress.
I have the best list that Jackie made up for me on reasons why Warren was the worst. I would post it tonight, but it's already eleven, and I'm tired. I've got to babysit tomorrow. And get on with my life. I'll post it tomorrow. I can't believe this is so long. I love you if you read the whole thing.