overwhelming fear of things that could have been
1999-12-02 @ 18:48:37

In the history of days, this one was truly awful. It was beyond describeable, and I think now, the whole day seems like something already half forgotten, something that my mind shut away so I wouldn't have to think about it. I went through the day in a trance, just cruising along on auto-pilot, oblivious to anything that was occuring around me.

My day didn't start off bad, in fact, it was kind of pleasant. I woke up, and even though I was tired, I got up out of bed and washed my face with cold water, hoping that it would make me more awake. Nice try. I ate my breakfast of pineapple and juice, and was on my way to school. Of course there were a whole bunch of steps in between, but I wouldn't want to bore you documenting those. I got to school, and went for extra help in math class. During first period, Chemistry, I was really bored, and my eyes hurt from trying to keep them open. Plus, I think that they were dry. Thank the world I got out of that class when I did. If I hadn't, then I think that I would have died. I went to World History, and I was happy because I got a 90% on my test. Geometry was Geometry. English was boring, and so was Health, but I got a 100% on my test. Score! Not much of a score though, as his tests are written for two year olds.

Lunch was when the badness started. I was peacefully eating my lunch, just talking with my friends, blah, blah, blah. All of the sudden the fire alarm went off. I thought we were having another fire drill. So, I followed the masses outside. Once I got outside, I met up with one of my friends, and she told me that we were having a bomb scare, yet AGAIN, for the second time this week. I have been getting tied of this lately. If you put a bomb in a school, especially my school, why the hell are you going to call up and say that it's there? Would someone please tell me that, at least? We were outside, for _fifteen minutes_. If you know the size of my school, then you know that it is simply impossible to check the entire building in that short amount of time. There are thousands of lockers, hundreds of classrooms, and plenty of other offices and labs, etc. Don't give me that b.s. that the whole building is safe and every obvious place has been checked. Well, let me ask another question. If you're going to plant a bomb in there, are you going to put it in an OBVIOUS place? I think not. I'm glad today at student council, we discussed all of this. Next week, we plan on meeting with our headmaster and the super intendent of schools to talk about writing up a procedure for students when there is a bomb scare. I mean, they had us standing in the front of the building, no more than forty feet away. If there was a bomb, then we would all be severely maimed by flying objects. My school is over a hundred years old, and built of BRICK. Even a small piece of it flying at a fast enough speed could severely hurt someone. I think it would only make sense to make us move further away. I think I blew off some steam now. But I was scared, and outraged that obviously not a lot of thought has gone into a an evacuation plan. And the boy may have been crying wolf this time, but what's going to happen next time around?

After that whole ordeal, I still managed to get through the day, and I went to my student council meeting after school. (As I have already said.) Jackie and Kristen left to go to track. I don't know, but I think Jackie has an attitude with me or something. She left Spanish class to go to her locker right after the bell rang, and she didn't wait for me. She didn't talk to me at student council, and she didn't save me a seat either. I don't know what she's mad about, but she better get off of her pissy attitude right away. I will not stand for people who are in a bad mood. Even if I'm in a bad mood, I am always perfectly decent to other people. (Except maybe my parents.) She called me tonight to say that her dad's car was fixed, and that he'd be able to take us to school tomorrow. Well, I said that was fine, and then I told her that I'd just see her tomorrow. She never wants to take the time to talk on the phone with me, so why should I take the time to be kind with her?

But anyway, I digress, so let me get on to my next point. I left student council, and I went to the front of the school to catch the bus home. I found it kind of strange that there was sand scattered all over the sidewalk, not to mention some white foamy stuff that looked kind of strange. The sand almost had a reddish ting to it too. I had wondered what happened, and then just kind of dismissed it. But then one of the other girls in student council came over, and she had learned from someone else that there had just been a stabbing during a fight between two guys. Oh great. I was standing right next to a crime scene. That just freaked me out a super lot, and I really wished that the bus had come faster. I am not used to seeing these things happen. I was a real shock when it hit me. I mean, it didn't seem real, but at the same time I had a fear in me, but it was so calm. I can't explain it. I was afraid, but it didn't seem real, so it just kind of stuck in my stomach. I got home fine, nonetheless.

In short, the day was just really overwhelming and tiring, and scary. But I got through it. I really want someone to talk to now, but no one is online. Better luck next time. Maybe I should just go to bed and get some well needed sleep.

Till we meet again, Diarylanders...

ciao



Before | After

new
old
profile
g-book
notes
email
design
host